I wasn't there o, but I can imagine how this wahala of child marriage started and finally got played out in the upper chambers of our legislative House.
It must have been during recess when most of the 'honorable' men of the senate had assembled at the convenience to make some water that conversation brought about more conversation.
Senator Y from Zamfara: (doing his thing at the shank, he throws a glance at Senator V's 'powerhouse') Walai, Pictor, your abunna is bery big! Chai...ip yu fut am por yarinya abunna, geskiya, the thing will tear!
Senator V: My brother, I wish that were true but I tell you the truth, I am yet to tear any abunna o! These days, we don't have tear rubber yarinyas again!
Senator M from Sokoto: ( standing on the other side of Senator V,from Cross River) Kariane, walai! Pictor, you mean you have neber sampled Presh abunna in Abuja, ne?
Senator V: Abuja, Lagos, Calabar, Port Harcourt...I have never tasted new 'something' before. I don't believe they are any virgins in Nigeria after the age of 18. It seems our young girls are in a hurry to throw away the thing nowadays. Or Senator Y, have you 'teared' rubber before?
Senator Y: (laughs out loud as he strokes his goaty) My prend, I used to be like you bepor bepor, looking por stainless yarinya from damaturu to gusau but no luck. I became desperate sotay I travel to Cairo to find one sweet 13-year old yarinya beside river Nile. Walai, our pest night together gave me insight to how sweet the 72 virgins in heaven will be.
Senator V: 13 years old? Is that not against the law? The constitution says a girl should have attained the age of 18 years before getting married!
Senator Y: Haba, My prend! That is why I travel to Cairo now, you see? If no virgin in Nigeria above 18 years and the law doesn't want us to marry virgins under 18 years, what else can we do than to travel abroad to source por 'raw' material? (he gives an earth shaking laughter)
Senator M: wait o(light bulb goes on in his head)! If it is true that we don't have virgins in Nigeria above 18 years, can't we amend the law to reduce the eligible age for females to marry so that we can all enjoy Yeri boy is enjoying without causing capital flight?
Senator Y: Shikena, walai! That is exactly what we should do, Machi, my aboki! That way even Vico and his southern brothers can enjoy something Presh por once!
Senator V: Distinguished gentlemen, I think we should not rush this.....
Before anyone could say ' child abuse', the two senators had gathered 33 other of their like minded 'honorables' in the male convenience to set the agenda for the next session of the hallowed chamber!
It must have been during recess when most of the 'honorable' men of the senate had assembled at the convenience to make some water that conversation brought about more conversation.
Senator Y from Zamfara: (doing his thing at the shank, he throws a glance at Senator V's 'powerhouse') Walai, Pictor, your abunna is bery big! Chai...ip yu fut am por yarinya abunna, geskiya, the thing will tear!
Senator V: My brother, I wish that were true but I tell you the truth, I am yet to tear any abunna o! These days, we don't have tear rubber yarinyas again!
Senator M from Sokoto: ( standing on the other side of Senator V,from Cross River) Kariane, walai! Pictor, you mean you have neber sampled Presh abunna in Abuja, ne?
Senator V: Abuja, Lagos, Calabar, Port Harcourt...I have never tasted new 'something' before. I don't believe they are any virgins in Nigeria after the age of 18. It seems our young girls are in a hurry to throw away the thing nowadays. Or Senator Y, have you 'teared' rubber before?
Senator Y: (laughs out loud as he strokes his goaty) My prend, I used to be like you bepor bepor, looking por stainless yarinya from damaturu to gusau but no luck. I became desperate sotay I travel to Cairo to find one sweet 13-year old yarinya beside river Nile. Walai, our pest night together gave me insight to how sweet the 72 virgins in heaven will be.
Senator V: 13 years old? Is that not against the law? The constitution says a girl should have attained the age of 18 years before getting married!
Senator Y: Haba, My prend! That is why I travel to Cairo now, you see? If no virgin in Nigeria above 18 years and the law doesn't want us to marry virgins under 18 years, what else can we do than to travel abroad to source por 'raw' material? (he gives an earth shaking laughter)
Senator M: wait o(light bulb goes on in his head)! If it is true that we don't have virgins in Nigeria above 18 years, can't we amend the law to reduce the eligible age for females to marry so that we can all enjoy Yeri boy is enjoying without causing capital flight?
Senator Y: Shikena, walai! That is exactly what we should do, Machi, my aboki! That way even Vico and his southern brothers can enjoy something Presh por once!
Senator V: Distinguished gentlemen, I think we should not rush this.....
Before anyone could say ' child abuse', the two senators had gathered 33 other of their like minded 'honorables' in the male convenience to set the agenda for the next session of the hallowed chamber!
Nice! This is why i cant stop visiting this page,cos everyday i visit i read something that makes me happy,and keeps me going. Are you an Hausa guy writer?
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